This morning as usual both of us were late to the office. I don’t care (even though my hubby suggested that we take emergency half day leave) I still had to go. Honestly said, I had no leave left given that I used all of them during our trip to Beijing last month. Hey, no worry, I am trying to write about that trip. On our way (my hubby’s driving, of course), I prayed that God will make me stronger with this life’s, my life’s  tests. I hope that He will Help me get through all of them. I felt quite calm after that which I had never experienced during this few months period. And then I realized one thing, last few weeks, I kept praying for no test, hoping it will be trouble-free-day. I am afraid to face any ‘situation’, as normally, it will ended up me easily get mad or sad. To make the situation worst, I got blank on how to make it up again. It drives me crazy.

On Friday morning last week, I was so dejected (pinjam word Achique). As I did my task (although not to my boss’ expectation, lain disuruh lain yang aku buat), running simulation on the laptop, I stole some time reading articles on my fave web. Among few that I read (actually 10 and more, sebab tu kerja lambat siap, balik pun lambat), I come across those which older ones that I already read before I got married. Suddenly, I realized that I wanted to make it up. Only until the very end of office hours then I somehow (without really thinking) apologized for my wrong doing with him (thru Skype, kalau nak tunggu bersuara sampai sudah tak minta maaf). After that, I am cheerful again (even though we arrived home very late, almost the time for breaking fast that day). Yes, apologize and forgiveness work wonders in life. The last two days (the weekend), the house was very lively (thanks to my sister who spend the weekend with us, helping us tidy up the house).

I remember, I once wrote that when we asked God to make us wiser, stronger and patience in life, doesn’t He then gave us the hardship so that when we get through the hardship, we will become more stronger, more wiser and more patience? I eat my own words (sigh). I now understand that actually I rejected to accept the hardship, making me narrowed minded and that’s why resulted me being constantly driven by emotion. Bad emotions. Allowing the negative charges to fully install within my mind. I was chicken out to take the challenge. I want to be brave again. I want to be ME again. It is ME who make my life to be what my heart desire, so if I want my life to be happy, blissful, I must be happy first.

My source of laughter

Have a blissful and happy life guys.

p(^_^)q

gambaru!